Bridget A. Thomas
Every day is a gift!
Trading Complaints for Gratitude
A couple of things I want to note before we get too deep into the topic of complaining vs gratitude:
- If there is something wrong that is important to express, then of course we should speak up. When we try to watch our complaints, this doesn’t mean we allow others to take advantage of us. And we shouldn’t risk our own health or safety because we don’t want to say something that might sound like we’re complaining.
- Also, in my post on Saturday, my friend Judy and I chatted a bit in the comments and she helped trigger an important point. Sometimes we will have bad days. So when that happens, we shouldn’t beat ourselves up. Jesus understands the worries we face. And He offers us grace. As it says in Romans 8:1 NLT, “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus..”
While keeping those things in mind, today I want to talk about trading our complaints for gratitude.
We are surrounded by complaining and negative vibes every where we go. This easily rubs off on us, and then we find ourselves voicing complaints and negativity too.
We can’t change everyone, but we can work on our own attitudes. And even when everyone else chooses complaints and pessimism, we can choose gratitude and hope.
Here are some things that have helped me trade my complaints for gratitude.
Have you heard of the Complaint Free Challenge? A pastor, Will Bowen, started a powerful movement – all with a purple bracelet. He originally asked 250 people to join him by not complaining for twenty-one days. They each wore a purple bracelet on their wrist as a helpful tool. If they complained, they had to switch the bracelet to the other wrist and start their twenty-one days over. This challenge exploded and now millions of people have participated, including me.
(You can order the bracelets online. Or of course you could also use your own bracelet or rubber band instead, if you wanted to do this challenge. If you are interested in learning more, I have some links at the end of the post.)
This challenge isn’t easy. But it does help us to be more aware of our griping. I no longer have my bracelet. And I complain more often than I want to these days. But the challenge still left an impact on me. When I complain, I am more aware of it. And this helps me to tamp it down.
Something else that has helped me in this area are chronic complainers. You know those people. If the skies are clear, they can still find a dark cloud. When we are around others that complain a lot, it can be draining. So that is one reason why I try to limit my verbal complaints. I don’t want to be draining to those around me.
I also find the H.A.L.T. principle to be helpful. I have heard Charles Stanley reference this many times. Whenever we are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired, we need to tread carefully. This is when we are more susceptible to things like temptation, sin, and making rash decisions. And this will also play a role in our complaints. If we are mindful of times when we are feeling vulnerable in one of these areas, that will help us to choose better thoughts and words in those moments.
Ultimately, when we pay attention to our thoughts and words, we can then pivot in a new direction.
For example, if we find ourselves complaining about something we are eating, we can pause and give thanks that we have food to eat. Or if we are tempted to complain about our jobs, we can instead say a prayer of thanks that we have a job.
Lately when I am tempted to complain about something someone did that I didn’t like, I will instead say, “Bless their heart.” (I believe this saying is used sarcastically sometimes by people. But that is not my intent.) This helps me to see the person with kindness instead of irritation. And it helps me to move on, instead of fixating on the offense.
The next time we are tempted to complain about something insignificant, let’s pause and choose gratitude instead. We can always find something to be grateful for. We can always find something to praise God for. We can shift our thinking off of the minor situations that bother us, and instead focus on the blessings in our lives.
Dear Jesus, we are sorry for our complaining. We know that many times our complaints stem from discontentment in our lives. But the truth is that we have so much to be thankful for. You bless us so much. And not just with material things. The things that really matter the most are the immaterial – Your love, Your grace, and Your faithfulness. Our family, our friends, and even the air we breathe. We thank You, Lord, for always being with us, for providing for us, and for protecting us. We love you. In Your beautiful name, we pray. Amen.
Links pertaining to the Complaint Free Challenge:
- About Will Bowen and the program
- To order bracelets
- Will Bowen also has a great book called A Complaint Free World
© 2018-2024 Bridget A. Thomas. All rights reserved.
Bridget A. Thomas 
Very thoughtful and thought provoking post, Bridget. Thanks for sharing this perspective with us as well as the challenge. Extremely interesting. I know a young man who worked for me who has taken a vow not to complain. On the outside, he seems very positive. I do wonder what’s going on inside, behind the smile. As I was reading your post, I had the thought “A year ago I would have completely agreed with your post. This year, however, I’m not sure I agree as much as would have then.” And it’s not that I disagree. I believe complaining never solves anything. It never has, never will. I think my struggle is more about what falls under the complaint umbrella and who says that’s what it is. Ultimately, I wonder if we are the referee ruling over our responses rather than others who might not like our pushback or our responses and thus accuse us of complaining. I do think I’ve been in a lot of negative headspace lately and I don’t like it. But, to call something that it is something it ain’t isn’t positive. Anyways, enough rambling. Thanks for writing this post and sharing your perspective. I’m grateful for your blogging ministry.
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Hi Rainer. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I see your point. And different people will have different views on what’s a complaint and what isn’t. As Christians, I’m glad we have the Holy Spirit to guide us. We can lean on Him and He can help us filter everything through Truth. To be honest, this year has been really hard for my family. I really don’t feel like focusing on gratitude most days. So I understand your negative head space. But I also felt focusing on gratitude would help those of us who are struggling to say positive. Ultimately I pray we all can hold onto hope as we keep our focus on Jesus. ✝️
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So true that it is easy to fall into complaining. I tend not to realise, I think the bracelet idea can highlight how much we might tend to complain. Pausing for a moment and trying to be intentionally thankful is something that may be harder at first but hopefully will become more of a habit if practised more.
Blessings my friend 💙
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Very true. I think as long as we find ways to become more aware of our words, it can help lead to a path of speaking more positively, with gratitude and hope. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Manu. Blessings to you too, my friend 💕
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Wonderful reminder, Bridget, to turn our complaints into gratitude and thanks. The H A L T principle is a good place to start – a quick checklist for ourselves.
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It can be difficult to get started on this path. But over time it gets easier. I agree, the HALT principle is a good place to start. And I’m glad the Lord helps us along the way. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Pauline! 🤗
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I just listened to a radio broadcast this morning about a wife & mother who got sick, went into a coma for 3 months, and woke to find her arms & legs were amputated. The medicine they used to save her life cut off the circulation to her limbs.
She and her husband went through a book (Choose Gratitude, I think was the title?), and they have a magnificent testimony of God’s goodness and faithfulness.
So God is using your post to tie into what I listened to; He’s a’workin’ on me!
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Oh my goodness. What a story. But it sounds like their journey not only brought healing for themselves, but others as well. Only God can turn the ashes into something good. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Kathy. ♥️
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Self-awareness is a valuable skill too many refuse to develop. I’m sharing your posts in next year’s Gratitude series.
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“Self-awareness” – that’s a great way to put it. We do need to be more self-aware. And then make changes when necessary. Thank you, Judy. I’m glad these posts have been insightful 💕
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❤
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Our attitude is the only thing we control. We can choose to be grateful in any situation or we can choose the grumble and complain.
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Such a good point. We always have a choice. I pray we choose wisely. 🙏
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That’s neat, I’ve never heard of the 21 day challenge! But I’m thinking it’d be a good one to do!!
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It really is an eye-opener. But even what we are doing now – discussing this topic – that helps us to become more aware too. It’s not always easy to shift our thoughts, but I’m grateful the Lord is there to help. Thank you, friend. I pray you have a good week! 🙏
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I completely agree, it helps a person to become aware even with just discussing. I wanted to text a friend and complain about how a recent funeral service was done..choose to stay silent instead!! Oh Lord help us with self-control!!!!
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I understand completely. Sometimes we feel we just “have” to say something. I don’t always pass the test in those moments. You did great! And amen to your last sentence! 🙏
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Great post, Bridget! I was telling a coworker not too long ago I need to watch my complaining. Because lately I feel like it comes easily. And God has reminded me, when I am complaining excessively, it’s because I am not trusting Him like I should. Blessings!
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Such a good point. Lack of trust can lead to complaining. Sometimes we think we know what’s best, instead of trusting what God has put before us. Thank you for pointing that out, Dawn! Blessings to you too! 💜
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Great ideas and reminders, Bridget!
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Thank you, Gail! 💕🤗
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